Why am I failing?

I am going share with you my thoughts about goals, results and failures in both sport and fitness. Everything that I went through or I came across as a competitor or a trainer.
It took me 3 weeks to write this, I really hope you’ll like it.

Nature vs. Nurture
Here’s a story to inspire those who ever asked the question: “Why is it harder for me and not for her?”

You need to know that we are all born with a purpose and multiple talents. Just because you choose something in life where you aren’t the best it doesn’t mean you’re worth less or you are never going to achieve it. You simply picked a SKILL that is not your TALENT, you weren’t born with it. Can you still learn, and be good at it? Of course you can, you just have to work your bum-bum off.

This is when Vivi tells you a story about a 5 year old little girl whose mum and dad won multiple amateur dance competitions.  However when the mum wanted to teach the girl how to clap to the rhythm, she just couldn’t do it. She didn’t have the talent like her mummy.
Mummy took her to learn to dance, which took her years. It took many hours and tears to be good at it and until she started enjoying it. The little girl also had problems with memorizing the choreography, she was probably the last person in the group to learn it, but always the last one to forget it! She had to spend more hours learning something and constantly practicing at home until she got to her teenage years and achieved the highest dance category she could in Hungary. She become one of the best. It’s important to mention the coach and the mummy were working hard at the early stages to support someone like her with no self-confidence, as she wasn’t as good as the others!
Later on she realized, with consistency and hard work she can go further than people with only TALENT.

And if you haven’t figured it out yet… that story is about me.

Emotional connection with your goal
Let’s go back to setting goals, is SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time Limited) enough?
It’s too number oriented for me.  It doesn’t allow the person to forge an emotional connection with the goal. I like to go after my heart and passion, I like to feel butterflies in my stomach towards a goal… you know when you fall in love and can’t stop thinking about it!

Last year was the first time when I held the handstand for more then 5 second. I practiced in the past 14 years but last year was the year when I fall in love with this goal so much that I spent all my spare time upside-down. For 5 month I didn’t stop until I got it. If you really want something you must wake up everyday with that goal in your head. Not enough 5% you need do it on full force until it’s done. If you haven’t got that drive it means you don’t want it bad enough.

Most people I came across as a personal trainer had high expectations towards the trainer but no expectation towards themselves. So many of them are eating trainers for breakfast, asking the same questions and getting the same answers, but they don’t change. My opinion is they either don’t listen or they think they can buy results without working for it. Without disciplining yourself and going through some hardship you’ll never understand what hard work means or appreciate the goal you’re working towards.

What is your purpose?
If you are purely focusing on your body image, your overall health will become secondary, you won’t be able to sustain it for long and you certainly won’t enjoy the journey.
I always have a strong drive and discipline when it comes to a goal. If i think back how much I use to hate dieting for my competition but I still did it.
I have that strong tunnel vision that comes from my dance coach who use to shout ” Torn the World apart”. It means push it till you fall. I was a little girl and I did what I was told, but it will stay with me forever.

You have millions of goals in your head, but an ill person has only one, to get their health back. It makes you think when you moan about your little tummy pouch or if you have a bit more bodyfat than the person on Instagram with edited pictures or after surgery.

I feel extremely blessed to have the power to show people the right direction, make them feel confident and teach them to be patient and to be humble.
I can feel their energy, I know exactly what they need and I am also aware that not everyone is ready for it.
Every single person comes into my life for a reason but that’s nothing to do with weight loss or fitness. It’s always something to do with their mindset, emotions, purpose, rather than aesthetics. I would only attract people who are ready to hear the TRUTH.

Am I good enough?

As I mentioned it before I’ve been in the fitness/sport industry for 23 years and the only time I had a six pack when I had to prepare myself for a competition to prove that I am good enough. Good enough? How silly? We are all good enough, we are all beautiful if we don’t play anyone else but OURSELVES.

Do you think by changing your look people will love you more? Nope. Does your mum care, your children or people who truly love YOU? No they don’t. One thing does matter, that you are healthy and doing the best you can to maintain that. If you are going through some tough times, then chin up buddy, you are probably getting a lesson that will lead to the next phase of your life.

Slow down
You have time to create a healthy balanced lifestyle, so enjoy the process, try out different healthy options but most importantly be consistent. If you decide today that you’ll have 3 healthy meals a day and 2 hours training a week for 3 months whatever happens, it will make you feel stronger inside and out then you can think of the next step.

I would like to share my personal experience to the following people:

New comers
Do: Definitely seek professional help, and more likely someone who is good at correcting your form, encouraging you to move instead of using machines. Focus on posture, movements, understanding your body before you would do any high impact workout.

Don’t: Don’t focus on body image yet. You just decided to start a new journey, it will take a long time, so suck it up and be patient. If you let yourself go for years and years do you think it will happen within a few months? NOOOO. Lesson learnt! Don’t let yourself go again.
The quicker the bounce back the quicker you’ll loose it.

 

After injury:
Do:  Fix yourself! Oh baby I get you. It sucks. Stop listening to your ego and start from the beginning. Are your lats, glutes and core working? Can you engage the spiral muscle chain? How is your posture? Are you doing your rehab exercises daily?
Listen to your body, seek professional advice, most likely someone who understands the whole body and not only treating your symptoms.

Don’t: Don’t do whatever you’ve been doing! It doesn’t work! Do not listen to only one person. Don’t give up in your head, this is a chance for you to learn and connect with your body on another level.

 

Lost interest
Do: Take some time off from your current activity. Find something totally different from whatever you have been doing: random classes, look up inspirational people, copy their workouts, get out there, make new buddies.

Don’t: Please don’t stop completely. Your body needs to move even if it’s 15 min mobility and stretching exercises a day.

Plateau
Do: Change it up. Take a break. You reached the plateau because you’ve been pushing yourself for a long time, or under sleeping, under eating, over training, over thinking.

This literally happened last week. My new client wasn’t eating enough but trained with me almost everyday and she felt extremely tired since then. Obviously I warned her what could happen if she carries on like this but she didn’t listen. Some people have to make their own mistakes. Her previous coach gave her a 1200 calorie limit which is enough if you are in bed all day. To make her eat more and change her mindset will be hard as someone previously gave her the wrong advice.

So If you reach the plateau book in for a good massage, try out yoga or pilates that will help you release your muscles. Your body is such a clever machine, start listening to it instead of your ego.

Don’t: If you feel no improvement, it means you’ve done enough and instead of pushing it more, slow down or try out something totally different. I am not very good with that, I usually push it too much and injure myself haha.

 

 

Conclusion
Take one step at the time. Have smaller goals to able to keep up with yourself. Every setback is there for a reason, to learn, to get stronger, to get smarter.  Your best buddy is in the mirror for the rest of your life, so make sure you treat that person as well as you hopefully treat others.
Remember when you hit the floor, the only way is up, what defines us how well we rise after falling.

If you need personal help, don’t hesitate contact me, I will try to help you and make things more simple for you.

8 thoughts on “Why am I failing?

  1. Thoroughly enjoyed this, the handstand anecdote is moving. I agree 100% on baby steps for goal achievement. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! I really enjoyed writing it and I’m so glad that you like it!

      Like

  2. My amazing Wonder Woman
    You are the most positive person/trainer/friend I have ever met .
    It’s such a great post !
    Very very inspiring and motivating .

    Like

    1. Aww Ami thank you so much!!I’m so happy to guide you on your journey! Sending you lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

      Like

  3. This is awesome Viv ! Always offering great advice and sharing experiences. Keep it coming 💪🏽

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love you Sev!! Thank you for your comment!! ❤️❤️

      Like

  4. Great advice here. We do need to remember that fitness is for our benefit; others really don’t care! Thank you for coming by my blog and liking my post, “The anti dad-bod workout!”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Awesome – This post will motivate someone to keep going. I think it’s important not to compare ourselves to anyone else when it comes to fitness goals or other objectives as we’re all at different points in our life journey.

    Liked by 1 person

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